Feedback, that dirty word, that word that gives us palpitations every time we hear it, or we hear, “When you have a minute, can you please come into my office, I would like to discuss something with you.”

We dread feedback because it carries negative emotions with it. It may be due to previous experiences when we received negative feedback. We resent receiving it, but we also dislike giving it.

We can tend to project our negative feelings about feedback to others, causing us to do a disservice by not providing appropriate feedback.

Accepting no one is perfect and that we are all growing may change our perspective about feedback. Feedback helps us grow, shows us where the blind spots are, and lets us know how we are doing and areas of strength.

In this article, I will focus on giving feedback well, but here is a note on receiving feedback:

Next time you receive constructive feedback and your heart skips a bit, remember that it cannot fundamentally change who you are no matter what the other person says. It cannot reduce your value as a person. However, it can help you improve what you do as it gives you the benefit of awareness.

 

Giving Feedback

Guage the recipient’s willingness

How willing are they to receive what you have to say? If the person’s disposition at the time is not open to correction, that is not the best time to provide that information. One cannot transmit and receive at the same time. Have you ever tried to correct a teenager, and you can almost see your words rolling off them like water off a duck’s back? That’s because they are transmitting. After a few hours, the same teenager may have a completely different attitude.

 

Create time and space for discussion

I once had a lead pharmacist who caught me coming in late and decided that the best thing to do was tell me how late I was in front of the whole open-plan office. I could wish the ground to open up and swallow me whole. I nearly cried. Yes, I was wrong for being late; however, I felt she intended to embarrass me rather than correct me. No one likes public reprimand, so schedule a time and book a private room to have the conversation.

 

Ask for their thoughts.

One of the ways to improve as a manager is to ask more questions. Instead of telling your reports what you think they should do, consider finding out their thoughts on the issue. The same principle applies here. Ask them

“What do you think has gone well?”

“What needs improvement?”

“How can that be improved?”

Most of the time, they already know poorly executed areas that need improvement, saving you having to say it.
Once they air their thoughts, you can build on those; agree or disagree with their evaluation as the case may be.

“Whether professionals have a chance to develop intuitive expertise depends essentially on the quality and speed of feedback, as well as on sufficient opportunity to practice.”

-Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow

Lead with the positive

Even if they start negatively, you don’t have to—state what worked well first. You could use the “sandwich” method of feedback, giving one positive feedback, a negative one, and then a positive one. This way, you start and end positively, and the input is balanced.

 

Be honest and helpful

The aim is to provide helpful guidance, hence the name constructive feedback. Avoid vague sentences or attacking the person by using sentences like
“You always …”
“You don’t know ….”
“What is wrong with you…”

Instead, aim to be descriptive, not evaluative. Give recent specific examples. In addition, describe what a changed or improved behaviour might look like for future reference.

 

Lastly, limit the number of areas of improvement

One to two areas of improvement is easier to manage than being given a list of ten things to change, especially if a behavioural change is required.

These principles are applicable both at work and in personal relationships. They show respect and consideration as well as care for the other person. Giving them room to evaluate themselves means you respect their opinion, and letting them know your thoughts show that you are interested in their growth.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you have other tips to share?

 

Feedback is the breakfast of champions.

-Brian Tracy